"Old" Friends, Neighbors and Dogs

I had a wonderful weekend with a not so old, old friend. I keep in contact with very few people from high school. This is mostly because high school was miserable for me and I prefer not to associate with people that remind me of it. Two exceptions to this and one of them came to visit me!

Insert photo that we did not take together here :(

Lots of eating, walking and site seeing later it was wonderful. I forgot how much I missed having connections to my awkward childhood.

After Caroline left, everything got a little bizarre. Twlight Zonish at times.

I haven't blogged about my neighbor yet because I try not to be particularly mean here but I'll make an exception this once. He's a little bit of an odd duck. Okay, a lot of an odd duck. Strange family dynamics, strange behaviors and just strange all around. He's a landscaper for a living which means he rides around on his stand up lawn mower with his goofy head phones all day and makes comments about what I can do to improve my landscaping. I prefer this behavior to the smoking (not sure what he smokes but I'm pretty sure it's not legal) and drinking he does outside my bedroom window in the evenings. (Don't you just love living so close to your neighbors that you can hear the jingle of the glass beer bottles in your sleep?)

Anyways, so I walk outside yesterday morning and immediately notice that I can see a lot more of my neighbor that I used to. The little bleep word cut my bushes! The bushes that I planted right by our shared fence to block him out, yeah those. He took the liberty of pruning them without asking my permission first. When I asked him about he was like, "Yeah they needed it." And I wanted to say, "No Nate, they didn't because now I can see your face." Angry eyes.

Thus begins my "Build Rachel a privacy fence fund." Cash donations now being accepted.

After this confrontation I stormed out of my house, late for lunch with my Dad. On the way over I am tested by God yet again when a pack of black dogs runs in front of my car across Shawnee Mission Parkway, a very busy street. Of course I immediately pull over, get out with my dog catching supplies in hand and attempt to track these dogs. They run from me back behind a house out of sight. Not feeling like getting arrested for trespassing I accept defeat in hopes that these dogs live at this house.

Just as I'm pulling back onto the road, they run across the street again the other way. Oh hell. So now I turn my car around and pull over on the otherside of this very busy street and jump out again with my supplies. Unable to see the dogs at this point I pull out my phone and dial animal control. Yes I have animal control on speed dial, as should you.

Johnson County Animal Control: 913-782-0720.....put it in your phone now. Paws can't dial (thanks mom for that)

When telling my mom about this story I asked her, "Why does God continue to test me like this?" I am like a beacon for homeless dogs. And my mom, love her, responds that he put me there at that time because he knew I would be the one to stop and call. I like this response because it makes me feel like God knows I will do the right thing which in turn makes me feel less guilty about my life choices. Refer to post, Internal Conflict Continues. It's hard though, God, it's hard.

I'll leave you with my new favorite movie quote and my new motto for life. It's of course from Harry Potter. That Dumbledore, he's a wise old man.

"Dark and difficult times lie ahead. Soon we must all face the choice between what is right, and what is easy."

Fire Season is Here!!!

Ahh the smell of campfire and s'mores. It's official bon fire season at the Ogren house and this year I vow to have more than last year. This shouldn't be hard to do because I think I only had 3 last season.

Got off to a great start with a little partay with some work peeps, lots of alcohol, a riveting game of badmitton and of course some s'mores.

Glorious.

Rock On Party People! (yes, that's my boss digging in the fire....)

Uh Oh, someone has had a little too much party fun!

PS. If you want people to show up for your party bribe them with a baby :)

After the party my mom and sister made a surprise appearance. Sister left a short eight hours later for Texas but I got to hang out with my mommy for a few days. I love my mom :) We did some shopping and some gardening and some napping.... Like mother like daughter....

Mom and I are both ironically and somewhat awkwardly on the hunt for true love. So out we went to mingle with the three dimensional people, dragging along of course Aunt Cyn. At a local restaurant after one very potent cocktail (don't worry I worked the next day...no big deal) I laid eyes on a very beautiful man. Of course he was with a woman. Mom and Aunt Cyn tried to convince me that they were brother and sister but the close conversation and gleaming diamond on her hand suggested otherwise. 

To which my mom suggested that someone invent some sort of scanning device, like a speed gun, in which you can aim your gun at another person and it will tell you their age and marital status....No more wondering if the charming guy at the end of the bar is single or living with his girlfriend of ten years and two charming but illegitimate children.... No more lying either, about your age or your wife. Is this an invasion of privacy or a single girl's dream? The verdict is still out. 

Anyhow, since I plan on being awake this summer (last summer I worked night shift and basically slept through the whole thing) I vow to get out more, mingle more and let the sparks fly more. I'll keep you posted on what's out there. The anticipation is killing you I know ;)

Right now I've got to go pry Eunice out from the passenger seat of my car. She has wedged her arthritic body down there in an attempt to escape the thunderstorm outside. It's not working Euns. Silly mamma. 

Happy Memorial Dayish!

Yesterday was Memorial Day and it was BEAUTIFUL! I took my Dad to the Royals game for his birthday and it couldn't have been more perfect. Okay, well they could have won at least but it was still a great time. I'm on a budget so I had to get the cheap seats but look at the great view we had!

I know you're all jealous of my throw back, flat billed Royals hat!

T'was a blast, so grateful to have my Dad in town. 

Today I went lunching with a few lovely work ladies and then to see Bridesmaids. First, I got carded....I guess that means it's time to start wearing grown up clothes and makeup out in public...darn.

Kristen Wig= HILARIOUS. Run, do not walk, to see this movie. But don't take your mom, and DEFINITELY don't take your dad. 

Made me think a little bit more about my life. About where I'll be when all my friends start getting married. Okay I guess they've already started. And here I am, the one looking for a respectable date to take as my "plus one." Maybe I'll start baking more. And become a reckless driver in the hopes that Officer McCutie McAccent will pull me over. JK JK, don't worry I won't endanger any of you fellow KC drivers out there. Definitely made me miss Chicago. Homey Sweet Home. Man of my dreams are you eluding me in the Windy City? TBD. 

In the meantime housing prices are at an all time low which translates to me not being able to sell my house for a loooooong time which means R.Pattzs, I think it's time for you to come check out the Midwest. You will have to come to me. 

What A Lovely Thursday

Yesterday was perfect. Perfect weather, perfect company and perfect wine. Started with a perfect walk with the dogs followed by a perfect lunch with a few lovely ladies and an 80's music show down.

Would have been extra perfect if this boy would have stopped flirting with me the whole time we were there. Just look at him trying to woo me with that smile:

Melt My Heart Not So Tiny Peanut.

The evening came around and I traveled further north than I'd ever been in the state of Kansas to Basehor for a benefit at a winery for Safe Harbor Prison Dogs. Great cause, great friends,  great wine and great puppies made it a perfect evening. 

I heart you Kaylene. And your licky ponies, fuzzie chickens mini doggies and super nice Husband :)

Internal Conflict Continues

I apologize in advance... This is going to be another heavy post. Today I ran across an article about a woman in KC who formed a non profit last year that goes around rescuing abused and neglected animals. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ME!!! In college I created basically the same nonprofit, only it stayed in my head and has yet to become reality.

I'm so conflicted. Animals have been a huge passion of mine for years. So why haven't I done anything to make my dream a reality? Is it really my dream? I love my life. My relaxed weekends, sleeping in, mowing my lawn, watching ABC family Harry Potter movie marathons....

I'd be giving up my life the way I know it. Rescuing animals is a full time business. Am I willing to give up my current way of life? Do I have to give up my current life? Am I really that happy in my current life? Can I give up nursing to rescue puppies? The answer to that is a resounding no, nursing is my only income and rescuing animals is a serious money suck. It all sounds unbelievably selfish of me.

There are moments in my day where I think it would be wonderful to move to the country, get the chickens I've always wanted, a baby cow that I can bottle feed and just have a huge dog sanctuary for all the dogs I've saved. These thoughts are fleeting but always recurring.

My life definitely has a giant hole in it right now. A void that has been looming and I'm not sure what to fill it with. Maybe this is the answer? Maybe I should give up my dreams of travel, of lazy afternoons and do something with my life that actually matters. I know I'm already a nurse, and saving lives definitely matters. But I'm still looking for more.

Am I strong enough to handle the abuse I would find? I can't even handle a little baby bunny in pain. Maybe I should just get over myself and get out there. I'm exhausted and sad and confused thinking about it.

And I'm back to the guilt. Guilt I feel because my dogs are staring at me with their big brown eyes wondering what the heck I'm doing right now that could possibly be more important that taking them for a walk. Guilt for blogging, guilt for sleeping in, guilt for abc family movie marathons when we should be outside taking advantage of the beautiful day. When we should be outside saving lives.

On this day that was supposed to be the end of all days, I'm looking for a sign from God.

Where do you go with your broken heart in tow?

Lots of questions today. Am I in the right place? Am I doing the right things? What are the right things? What are my goals in life? What the hell am I doing?

Too many questions for a lifetime let alone an afternoon. What brought this on you ask? Unsure. I'm still recovering from the baby bunny trauma. Kicking myself now for not rushing the little soul to the wildlife hospital that I have now researched and know the exact location and phone number of for future reference. Why do I have such guilt over the lives of small woodland creatures? Why does the preventable loss of life of one small cottontail have me questioning my complete existence?

Guilt. It's a powerful motivator but is it motivating me for the right reasons? It's something I've struggled with my entire life. Ever since watching "The Brave Little Toaster" as a wee girl I've had issues with giving feelings to inanimate objects and thus having major guilt when forced to throw things away. Note to parents, do NOT let your children watch this movie.

But which came first, the chicken or the egg? The confused emotional toddler or the heartwarming Disney movie that caused her to want to save crickets and feed them Twinkies??? (Wall-E is quite possibly the most beautiful and heart wrenching story of all time, rent it now and bring the Kleenex.)

Maybe I'm just over emotional. Maybe I want to save the world. Yes, yes to both. But how to save the world? The root of my question. How to direct my emotion and heart to an avenue that will leave me filled with answers, not questions?

TBD I guess. In the meantime I'll keep feeling and crying over baby bunnies in hopes that my heart and my tears will not lead me and my doggies astray.

On completely different notes:

Today is my dad's birthday. I've never been so grateful to have him so close to me. It makes me feel warm inside. Who randomly decides they want to clean out his daughter's gutters on his birthday? My Dad, that's who. He loves me that much.

I recently found out that they've cancelled my new favorite show, The Chicago Code. I'm really depressed over this. Sometimes you need junky TV to get through the heavy in life. And I really had a crush on officer wasaki. Now I'll have to fork over the money to watch trashy vampire porn on HBO again this summer. True Blood. Amazing.

Google the title of my blog. Tegan and Sara. Equally Amazing.

Tears for Bunnies

Eunice caught a baby bunny today. Or rather a baby bunny ran into Eunice's lap. Let's face it, Eunice probably couldn't catch a bunny if her life depended on it. But today she was in the right place at the very wrong time for this poor little bunny. I screamed and she dropped it. Bless her heart she was just doing what God made her to do.

We ran inside where I commenced to sob uncontrollably. I have this thing where I can't handle trauma when it includes animals. Am I over sensitive? Did I receive two of the "be kind to animal" genes? I don't know. All I know it my heart aches for furry friends. Lucky for me my dad moved to town last fall and being the great guy that he is, he dropped everything to come to mine and the bunny's rescue while I sit sobbing in the living room. God bless my dad. Despite all the rough times we had and the harsh words I've said, he still comes to my side at the drop of a hat. All I have to do is say the words. I don't know how people who don't live by loved ones survive. I'm secretly (or not so secretly) plotting to drive the rest of my family into closer proximity.

I'm growing up and getting wiser but baby bunnies will always make me cry like a baby. It's just who I am. and I'm not planning on changing anytime soon. For now I'll be thankful for those who are stronger than I am and willing to come to my aide, judgement aside. Thanks Dad.