Now is the Time to Live Your Ideal Life

I'm pretty sure I stole this from a quotable card. But it's true. So lately I've been asking myself, "What is my ideal life?"

This is what I've come up with in no particular order:

I love my job. Some days are harder than others (for example yesterday it literally rained babies on us), but generally I love it. I think I'd love it most though, if I got to do it because I WANT to, not because I have to work. So ideally I'd like to work part time.

I'd like a family. A husband who comes home for dinner and who would rather play ball with his kids than drink beer and watch football. Does this man exist? TBD. And the children, yet to be determined where they will originate from (enter Blind Sided ) but a few little ones nonetheless.

I'd like a garden. I love being outside. I like to pull weeds. Insert name calling here, don't be a hater. I'd like a vegetable garden with zucchini and pumpkins and watermelon. And chickens.

I'd like to have my dog rescue. I haven't decided yet whether or not it's going to be best to donate my time and resources to an existing organization or create one from scratch. All I know is that someone has got to help the four legged. Come on guys, paws can't dial.

I want to be a super sewer. I want to upholster furniture and make curtains and Halloween costumes for my kids. Not clothes, I don't do clothes. Okay maybe some cute baby clothes but I will continue to purchase my clothes at Target. Wandering JoAnn fabrics today seeing all those beautiful fabrics and patterns, glorious.

I want to decorate cakes. And cupcakes. Yum, need I say more? And I'd really like to cook homemade meals more, it's too hard to cook for one person right now.

I'd like to work harder at taking more pictures. I always love the end result, why don't I do it more?

Okay...is that too much for one lifetime? Maybe I'm just looking for a creative outlet in addition to saving the babies, underprivileged children and puppies. Whatever, I'm super woman, I can do it all.

Where to do all this? Undecided on this, I'm thinking somewhere where there is no humidity, and perhaps mountains and maybe some water. Washington? Maybe.... I do want to be by my family though, home is where your mother is.

So my challenge for you is, what is your ideal life? Are you living it? Why the hell not? What are you waiting for?? GET GOING!!

Big Sky Country

I love Montana. You can really breathe there. The air is crisp and clean and addictive. I could sit outside for hours and just breathe in and out, waiting and watching for the deer. No mosquitos, no cicadas, no humidity. Just big sky and fresh air.

It also happens to be full of family members that I love very much. I went to visit my grandmother who has advancing Alzheimer's. Bittersweet.

And as an added bonus I was able to spend time with some of my other favorite people.

This is Abby: I love her. 

So eager, so happy. 

So beautiful. 

Breathe In Breathe Out

I got back from Montana early early this morning. More on that later. I somehow got a cold while I was there, maybe because their weather was AMAZING and fallish unlike this hellish humidity going on here at home.

Regardless, I spent most of my day in bed trying to recover, much to Eunice's dismay. I got out of bed tonight to support a coworker who lost a son last week. A beautiful service in which many people stood up and said beautiful things about this young man. The words his mother, father and siblings spoke will stick with me for a long while. His younger brother said something (well a lot of things) worth repeating. He wanted to make sure we all knew and remembered not to take things for granted. That as soon as you think you don't need someone or something, that God will prove you wrong. Strong words with big meaning coming from a very strong young man.

On my way home while I was trying to breathe in and breathe out through my tears and stuffy nose, I reached for one of my favorite songs. Matt Kearny I love you. Thank you for reminding me to do something so simple yet often times not so easy.

I was reminded during the service as I am many times during the day of my sister, and something that she read aloud at my grandmother's funeral. Something I've referred back to many times, using it as a sort of motto or hope for my life. Hope in the sense that someday at my celebration of life, I hope that there will be someone who thinks that this story reflects my life as well. Peace and tears tonight.

The Starfish Story

Original Story by: Loren Eisley

One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed
a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean. 

Approaching the boy, he asked, What are you doing?

The youth replied, "Throwing starfish back into the ocean. The surf is up and the tide is going out.  If I don't throw them back, they'll die."

"Son," the man said, "don't you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish? You can't make a difference!"

After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish,
and threw it back into the surf.  Then, smiling at the man, he said,
"I made a difference for that one."

Blind Sided

I recently switched cable providers and with that, lucky for my True Blood addiction, came three free months of HBO. This makes for good movie watching on my days off. This afternoon I caught the ending, and then later the beginning, of The Blide Side. I've seen this movie before in bits and pieces but I've never really "seen" it. Of course now I'm only seeing it through my tear streaked eyes.

I've eluded to my high school trauma in the past. AKA upper middle class girls with their designer jeans making me feel like a big time loser. In watching this movie, though, I think about those who must have had a harder time. I wonder if anyone stopped long enough to take notice or if they drove on by in their BMW with the doors locked.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I do know that there is something bigger planned for this life of mine. Stay tuned.

Debt Ceiling?

Stress. I'm feeling it. While a bunch of idiot congressmen are fighting over the debt of our country, I'm fighting over my debt. With myself. With a large hike in taxes and never ending credit card debt I find myself spending the majority of my days off these days in front of my budget.

Every time I think I have a plan and am on track, bam, Euns gets an ear infection and there goes $300+ at the vet. Yes people, I'm spending more on my dogs than myself these days. They're worth it. Even if I have to be on the "eat Ramon noodles every night" type of budget. Good for the wallet, bad for the sodium.

On top of that the heat still will not let up. It's been 100+ for days and days. I've given up on watering the grass because it's not making a damn difference and it's costing me an arm and a leg. I'm so ready for fall. For pumpkins and holidays and the start of my twenty-fifth year, hoping it brings what I'm looking for.

Meanwhile my fence is done. Didn't go exactly as planned. In fact it didn't go at all as planned. Long story leading to me still having to look at my neighbors. The fence is only in the back. It's nice to have some privacy from the weirdos at the pool though. Even this is not without stress.  Enjoy the beauty anyways. And Scoutie going peeps in the foreground.