We do a lot of waiting in life. Waiting for others, waiting to get somewhere and waiting more when we get there. Today I've been waiting in the surgical waiting room for my dad who is having surgery today. It's a bizarre place in life when you find yourself waiting for your parents. Up until now they've always waited on me. It's like I've officially become an adult. It's slightly unsettling and I'm not sure how I feel about it. It's a part of growing up I guess.
Waiting is a bizarre concept filled with silence and fatigue and strange people in the waiting room who are also waiting, and at the moment eating fried chicken that smells amazing. Nothing to do but wait. Wait for news, good or bad. Wait. Thanking God for these quiet moments with nothing to do but think about my life and where it's going. Nothing like being forced to sit and think. Nowhere to go, nothing but people watching and fried chicken to distract you from your thoughts.
Right now I feel anxiety, anger, longing, love, fatigue and guilt. What are feelings really? Things that we project upon ourselves for no reason really. I'm the only one making me feel guilt, anxiety. Others make me feel angry but should I let them? Probably not. I should probably take this opportunity to thank God for these opportunities to trust him more, be content in this moment and stop worrying about what is going to happen next and when. Living in the moment people. Right here and now with the fried chicken.
Psalm 62:1-2 says, "Truly my soul silently waits for God; from Him comes my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation." Waiting is so hard, but so worth it. I'm thinking fried chicken would also be worth it right now!
ReplyDeletethis was beautifully written.
ReplyDeletewhat are you waiting for?! said as a statement and also a question. :)