Giving Thanks?

Life. I've been walking around mine in a fog. I've been on hiatus. From blogging. From thinking. From feeling. Even still I'm not sure what's happening in my head, just that the words are flowing from my fingers.

Some hurdles have presented themselves recently, unexpected yet not unsurprising. The kind that all of a sudden make everything really clear. If only I could stop floating long enough to bring things into focus.

I submerged my brain into a fantasy. A story so twisted and bizarre and yet I couldn't come up for air. Have you read The Hunger Games? If so then you know why I'm going through withdrawals after the third book ended....  But it had to end some time. The time to quit daydreaming about other's problems and face my own has come. And I still stare blankly.

I have this devotional that Cyndee gave me. In the beginning it offered wonderful help. A rock of sorts to cling to, something to trust. And now it's telling me to give thanks for my struggles. To thank God for these opportunities to trust in Him.

" Make friends with the problems in your life. Thank Me for them. Every problem can teach you something, transforming you little by little into the masterpiece I created you to be. The very same problem can become a stumbling block over which you fall if you react with distrust and defiance. The choice is up to you."

I'm not sure I'm there yet. I'm looking for the silver lining. For the opportunity for growth and all I find is numbness. I went back to the animal shelter this week for the first time in over a month. I was able to spend a little over an hour there. Baby steps. No tears. 

It feels a little like drowning. Waiting for my breath of fresh air. Waiting for the moment at which I am able to give thanks and breathe. I won't give up.