Oh hey there. Yeah I'm still here. Taking hiatus I guess. Really my life has been less than blogable lately. Well actually some stuff has gone down but I'm not sure it's blogable.
The thing with blogging you see is that there is this fine line between being transparent and sharing my life and trampling on the privacy of others. I've tangoed with that line before. So through the following you will find a glimpse of my life and heart in the present time in the most vague way possible. It is my hope that by the time I'm done you will have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about. Now that I've got you chomping at the bit......
I've been waiting a long time for the pieces of my life to fall into place. Haven't we all? And are the pieces ever really all in place? It's like a puzzle, just when you think the last piece has been perfectly snapped in, someone comes along and bumps the table and mixes everything up again. Thanks.
So recently some pieces that I thought were lost forever found their way back onto the table. I haven't snapped them into place for good get, but they are hovering. I had this amazing moment of peace several months ago in which I gave everything I was worried about up to God. I said, "God, take it away. I don't want this worry or stress or control, it's Yours. I trust you and this path I'm following blindly." And what do you know, the man upstairs came through when I wasn't expecting it.
Nothing is that easy though. I think I expected God to hand the pieces to me on a platter and say, "Here you go, the pieces you thought were goners. Take them and enjoy." And just when I was basking in the glory of my found pieces God says, "Hold up, you must work for this."
Right now things aren't going according to my plan. One step forward, two steps backwards. And then I remember, this isn't my plan. It's still God's and I'm still supposed to be following like a good little blind lamb. Only this time I feel like my blindfold has been slightly lifted. I've caught a glimpse and it makes it that much harder to give it back to Him. I'm asking for help constantly. Giving up my anxiety and fear and frustration. Asking Him to take it back and hold my hand as I walk.
What would this puzzle be without a little work anyways. The reward would be a heck of a lot less if it was pre assembled when you take it out of the box. The best pieces are worth getting down on your hands and knees on the floor and searching through the piles of dog hair that live under your table for. Okay gross, I'm going to vacuum.
So funny that I was thinking about this exact same thing today: following blindly versus having to put some work in. It's hard to know which situations call for which response! And as for your hope that by the time you're done talking, we will have absolutely no idea what you're talking about, you succeeded :o)
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