A few days late my valentine arrived in the form of my mommy. Yes, I still call her mommy. She warms my heart. She brought the sun and took it with her when she left yesterday.
We had a great weekend, watched a movie (The Decedents, warning: a little bit of a downer) got pedicures, walked the dogs, and welcomed her to the 21st century. Yes, my mom got an iPhone! She even has a newer version than I do!
I was excited to help her with this and very impressed at how fast she picked it up. She has now realized that no, her fingers are not to fat to hit the right letter on the touch keypad, she can do this.
It wasn't without a little drama though. I had to remind her in a rather embarrassing display at the Apple store that she is worthy of the gifts that are given to her and that she should accept them with open arms and heart. She's just my mom and she wants to protect me, she wants to be the giver. Mom, when someone gives you a gift it's because they love you and you deserve it. I can't wait to see all the great photos you take with that awesome iPhone camera!
On the home front things have settled down. I'm trusting in God and following his plan like the little lamb that I am. I have no idea what the plan is but I take faith in the fact that my Shepard is not blind. We are taking one day at a time.
In the meantime it's February and raining. We had our first snow of the year last week and my little tulips are poking their heads out. Silly tulips, it's not time yet. I can't wait to see your smiling happy flowers in a few weeks.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Monday, February 6, 2012
On My Knees
I have said in the past that I frequently find myself to be a "beacon" to homeless animals. They seek me out, find me as if they know I drive around with a box of treats in the back of my car (ps everyone should have a dog catching kit in their car that includes a slip leash and box of treats). Well I find myself more and more becoming a beacon for fellow dog rescuers. I've received several emergency texts or calls from friends and family in need of advice with what to do with the stray dog that is now in the back of their car.
The advice I usually give is to call the local animal control. In the county I live in this is the best solution as all dogs that get picked up by the professional dog catchers get taken to a no kill shelter where they can stay forever whilst awaiting their forever home.
When I get calls from people out of state like the one I got this afternoon from my sister who lives in rural Texas, I'm not sure I am able to give the best advice. People live differently in rural areas and they treat their animals differently. It's "acceptable" to allow dogs to roam neighborhoods freely without identification and without spaying or neutering. Why they think this is okay is beyond me. Regrettably with the different lifestyles come different attitudes of law enforcement. People look at you strangely when you say you picked up a stray dog, like "well why didn't you just leave it alone, it would have found it's way home." Maybe that's true, but maybe it would have gotten hit by a car on the VERY BUSY ROAD THAT YOU WERE LETTING IT RUN UP AND DOWN! Come on people.
So when I told my frantic sister to take this dog to the local animal control she learned the hard way the reality that is our country's way of dealing with stray pets. She was told that if the dog wasn't picked up or adopted within a week, it would be euthanized.
We both know that this is happening at shelters and pounds across the country on a scale larger than I can stomach to think about. But when it's staring you in the face with a wagging tail it hits closer to home. I can't help but sob with her as I think about the probably hundred other dogs in that shelter she didn't see that don't stand a chance. WHY IS EVERYONE ELSE OKAY WITH THIS?
Why is it acceptable for people to look the other way and pretend it's not happening? Why doesn't anyone else break into sobs during this super bowl commercial watching "Rusty" and "Mr. Sprinkles" come home. It's a Toyota for goodness sake.
But the biggest question on my heart tonight is WHY GOD DID YOU MAKE ME CARE SO MUCH?? I am literally on my knees sobbing, asking WHY??!! And what do You want me to do? PLEASE GOD, stop the tears and show me what it is I am supposed to be doing. I am on my knees, begging for Your guidance, Your plan and Your help. You've made your point, I'm horrified. Help me fix it.
The advice I usually give is to call the local animal control. In the county I live in this is the best solution as all dogs that get picked up by the professional dog catchers get taken to a no kill shelter where they can stay forever whilst awaiting their forever home.
When I get calls from people out of state like the one I got this afternoon from my sister who lives in rural Texas, I'm not sure I am able to give the best advice. People live differently in rural areas and they treat their animals differently. It's "acceptable" to allow dogs to roam neighborhoods freely without identification and without spaying or neutering. Why they think this is okay is beyond me. Regrettably with the different lifestyles come different attitudes of law enforcement. People look at you strangely when you say you picked up a stray dog, like "well why didn't you just leave it alone, it would have found it's way home." Maybe that's true, but maybe it would have gotten hit by a car on the VERY BUSY ROAD THAT YOU WERE LETTING IT RUN UP AND DOWN! Come on people.
So when I told my frantic sister to take this dog to the local animal control she learned the hard way the reality that is our country's way of dealing with stray pets. She was told that if the dog wasn't picked up or adopted within a week, it would be euthanized.
We both know that this is happening at shelters and pounds across the country on a scale larger than I can stomach to think about. But when it's staring you in the face with a wagging tail it hits closer to home. I can't help but sob with her as I think about the probably hundred other dogs in that shelter she didn't see that don't stand a chance. WHY IS EVERYONE ELSE OKAY WITH THIS?
Why is it acceptable for people to look the other way and pretend it's not happening? Why doesn't anyone else break into sobs during this super bowl commercial watching "Rusty" and "Mr. Sprinkles" come home. It's a Toyota for goodness sake.
But the biggest question on my heart tonight is WHY GOD DID YOU MAKE ME CARE SO MUCH?? I am literally on my knees sobbing, asking WHY??!! And what do You want me to do? PLEASE GOD, stop the tears and show me what it is I am supposed to be doing. I am on my knees, begging for Your guidance, Your plan and Your help. You've made your point, I'm horrified. Help me fix it.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
To Be Continued....
I had an "episode" this morning. I went to interview at the animal shelter I've been volunteering at for a real job. A job that pays minimum wage but that would give me a purpose at the shelter. Most importantly it would keep me from wandering aimlessly down the rows of dogs with tears in my eyes feeling guilty about all the ones that want to go for a walk but that I can't take lest I spend 12+hours a day there. She wanted someone who can commit to two days a week starting next week.
I was speaking to God this morning, asking him for help. That he would show me the path he wishes for me to take, or at least take away my worry and need to know and allow me to trust completely in Him.
I had another horrible day at work yesterday. In fact, every day for the past two months has been horrible and I've dreaded going. It was chaotic and unorganized and I felt lost. I woke up this morning unsettled about the interview, knowing that my heart is probably not in a place to take on a second job when I feel myself screaming to get out of my current one.
It's disappointing to me that I feel this way suddenly about my job. I love the people I work with (for the most part), I love babies, I only have to work three days a week.... on paper it's the perfect job. But in my heart, for whatever reason, I want out. This morning was the first time I actually admitted that out loud to myself. I found myself looking for different full time jobs, jobs that wouldn't require me to be gone for 14 hours at a time. It's a trade off though, work more days to make the same money.
So in the interview I explained my passion for helping rescued animals, that it is my number one priority for my life. I explained to her my growing dissatisfaction with my current job and the transition and turmoil it has put me in. I knew in my heart that this is not the right moment to take on something like this without knowing what tomorrow will bring for me. I left with her knowing how very interested I am in this career and a promise to stay in contact as I figure out my plan. I barely made it out the door before I burst in to tears.
I sobbed all the way home. I think it's because I know it's something I want so badly. I know it's in my future and I know it is my future in one form or another. But I also know that the hole that's growing in my job is not going to go away but instead grow larger. I need to figure that one out first. It's not fair that I can't afford to do what my heart wants me to do. I need to be a nurse to pay my mortgage.
I'm focusing now on trusting God and allowing him to show me the right path. The path that will allow my career as a nurse to intertwine with my passion for dogs. To be continued.
I was speaking to God this morning, asking him for help. That he would show me the path he wishes for me to take, or at least take away my worry and need to know and allow me to trust completely in Him.
I had another horrible day at work yesterday. In fact, every day for the past two months has been horrible and I've dreaded going. It was chaotic and unorganized and I felt lost. I woke up this morning unsettled about the interview, knowing that my heart is probably not in a place to take on a second job when I feel myself screaming to get out of my current one.
It's disappointing to me that I feel this way suddenly about my job. I love the people I work with (for the most part), I love babies, I only have to work three days a week.... on paper it's the perfect job. But in my heart, for whatever reason, I want out. This morning was the first time I actually admitted that out loud to myself. I found myself looking for different full time jobs, jobs that wouldn't require me to be gone for 14 hours at a time. It's a trade off though, work more days to make the same money.
So in the interview I explained my passion for helping rescued animals, that it is my number one priority for my life. I explained to her my growing dissatisfaction with my current job and the transition and turmoil it has put me in. I knew in my heart that this is not the right moment to take on something like this without knowing what tomorrow will bring for me. I left with her knowing how very interested I am in this career and a promise to stay in contact as I figure out my plan. I barely made it out the door before I burst in to tears.
I sobbed all the way home. I think it's because I know it's something I want so badly. I know it's in my future and I know it is my future in one form or another. But I also know that the hole that's growing in my job is not going to go away but instead grow larger. I need to figure that one out first. It's not fair that I can't afford to do what my heart wants me to do. I need to be a nurse to pay my mortgage.
I'm focusing now on trusting God and allowing him to show me the right path. The path that will allow my career as a nurse to intertwine with my passion for dogs. To be continued.
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